thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
