he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
