I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
