she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
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