I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
We're like a lot better than the average bears
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize