i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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