My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
