When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
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