thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
