My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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