I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
