you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
