it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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