There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize