drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
