somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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