I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
