So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
