I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
