East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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