Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
