dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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