omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize