hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
