i dont even know how to be here
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
