Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
