The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
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