I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
