He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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