jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
