this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize