Whod you bang
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
