Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
