yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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