this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
