apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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