is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
