I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
