never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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