you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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