i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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