In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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