found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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