hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
