Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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