just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Randomize
