you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize