operation harelip BJ is a go
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
