I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
vagina is talking i cant
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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