I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
