So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
My penis needs a shock collar
Sext me about skeletons
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
