I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
