One girl and one boy is just not enough.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
