It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
