i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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