I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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