you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
How does one acquire holy water?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
