you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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