I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
