those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
