its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
