Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
