You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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