what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
