He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize