We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
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