So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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