you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Randomize
