i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
